Where Do We Go From Here?

When it comes to the nature versus nurture debate, I believe nature created the systems that produced me, while nurture shaped the essence of my soul. I am a product of my environment, and this is what I want to examine. My hope is that, in tracing these steps, you might recognize pieces of your own life and find community in the overlaps.

I was born in Newark, New Jersey, in October 1997, and raised in Maplewood/South Orange. My version of the American Dream is inherited — shaped first by my parents. They did not want my dreams deferred by the failures of Nigeria’s infrastructure, corruption, or poverty. Immigration, for them, was not just movement; it was protection. My imagination was formed somewhere between the fumes of the Industrial Revolution and the rush of the digital age.

I am not telling my story through the language of becoming, but through a timeline of technology, culture, and community — the forces that carried me before I could even walk.

My First Decade

1997 — My birth. My parents believed in prosperity, education as an insurance policy, and a future powered by technology. Optimism was structural. The word pivot mattered.

Y2K (1999–2000) — The so-called golden years. I started Catholic school. I loved my uniform — mostly because I loved skirts, especially the ones with pleats. The beads at the ends of my braids were my stim, a constant clicking that grounded me before I had language for

it. I ate more Girl Scout cookies than I could ever sell.

2001 — September 11th. I remember nothing of the day itself, but everything changed after. Fear arrived without explanation. America became watchful.

2002 — I mastered the rotary phone. I could read, dial, and call every number in the Yellow Pages. Numbers felt like power.

2003 — From singing Destiny’s Child hits to Dangerously in Love. I desired to live in the fab lane with the latest baby phat bomber. Learning how to sway my hips in the mirror like Naomi Campbell. These women taught me femininity paired with work ethic

produced a beauty that was earned.

2004 — I followed my mom to the corner store to buy calling cards so she could phone home. Long-distance connection came in minutes and codes.

2005 — Walking home from school alone. A strict routine followed: minimal shenanigans, snack time, homework, dinner, shower. If I was lucky — and it was Thursday — Grey’s Anatomy before bed.

2006 — Graduating from troubleshooting a Game Boy by blowing dust out of the cartridge to caring for Tamagotchis, which taught me responsibility and consequence. I got my first phone — a pink Motorola Razr. Super fly, super cute.

2007 — Robin Roberts and Diane Sawyer accompanied my eggo waffles for breakfast. These women defined journalism for me. I saw authority, composure and intelligence and the cherry on top was seeing that credibility came in Black too.

My first decade of life doesn’t define me; it exposes the systems that shaped the narrative of my becoming.What followed was Obama-sized hope, parasocial intimacy and the Panoramic-19.